Change Me, O Lord!

Lord, Father God, at this very moment I give you permission to change me. I have sinned again, and I am sick inside of me to think of the pain I have caused to others and to You. I hate failing. This, too, is a sin because it is pride. But I hate failing You. I hate when you are disappointed in me, even though I know that you will still, and always, love me. 

Your word says that "love is from God", and if I do not love my brother then I do not know God, and I am a liar. Always I say that I want to know You more, know You better, yet I isolate myself from others, and I find it hard to be tolerant of others' ways and what they say. Father, I give you permission to change me. Lord I ask You to teach me how to love others as You do. Teach me to be more understanding. Teach me tolerance of ideas and ways that are not like mine.

Lord, my anger is like a firecracker. When it is lit it explodes quickly and then fizzles in an dirty and useless lump. There is nothing left, then, but to clean up the mess, wait for the stink of sulfur to fade away, and pray that no one was damaged in the explosion. Oh, how I hate that anger! Oh, how I wish it was not an emotion that I see has been hereditary to me and to my offspring! Help me, Jesus, to pray away this awful sin in my life. I know that if I read Your word and cherish it unto myself that I will draw closer to You, and it will help to eliminate this harmful emotion. Father, I give You permission to change this in me.

Father, You have done so much in my life, but I know that I have so much farther to go to be ready for Your kingdom. You teach me daily all Your ways that you expect in me. Father, You don't need my permission to do anything in my life, but I believe You want it. You want me to be as eager as You are to change my life. So, Jesus, I give You permission to do whatever it takes to make me more like You. Jesus, I ask. Amen.

Remember and Smile

Yesterday I was talking with a friend about smells and sounds that take you back to another time, usually a time that can only be revisited in your mind. Most of the time these are sweet memories that make us smile at the pictures in our heads. Other times these moments of remembrance can be a cruel reminder of a time best forgotten.

All it took was a word yesterday to set my teeth on edge. Soon after I curled up in a fetal position and cried myself to sleep. That won't happen again. I will be prepared next time,

But this morning it was a different sound that piqued my memories. I have been away from home for a few days, so the morning sounds are different. I sat by a window five stories up, and as I drank my morning coffee I heard this far away, lonesome sound of a train whistling its way past the byways and through this southern city.

Oh, how I love that sweet, lonesome sound! I am immediately taken to my childhood, visiting my grandmother in a southern Texas town. She lived just two blocks from a railroad track, and at night when all was still, in my bed, I would listen to the many trains passing through, whistling its warning as it passed over the street. I loved being at grandma's house, so this sound remains sweet and precious in my mind and heart.

I have other memories that sounds and smells trigger. What triggers your memories? Is it the smell of burning leaves, a warm summer rain, the sight of hollyhocks along the side of a road? Don't neglect those precious thoughts that take you back. It's good to remember and smile.

                                                                            

     

Nobody Likes To Lose

                                               James Tiberius Kirk        "Star Trek"        

                                   

Some people will do anything to win, even cheat. Most of us as children gave cheating a try with hidden notes or glancing across the aisle at someone's paper. But losing or failing hurts so bad for some that they will go to great lengths to overcome the obstacle. By the time we reach adulthood we should be over the cheating mentality, but, in actuality, that's when many have ingrained it so deeply in their character that it is just second nature. 

What is it about losing that is so detestable, and why do many parents teach that winning is everything, and losing is, well, nothing? Isn't there anything about losing that could be considered positive? I doubt that anyone will ever come to a mindset that they enjoy losing, or they look forward to losing. But I believe there is much to learn from it.

It is just a fact that in competition of any kind there will be a winner and a loser. The winner takes the trophy. The loser is mostly forgotten. But when a competitor reaches the final cut and ends up coming in second, this is a very notable accomplishment indeed. Yet, the pain and heart break from the second place "winner" is obvious, and some will completely break down after the fact. Note the 300 pound, muscular college football player sitting on the loser's bench at the end of a championship game with tears streaming down his face, or his head buried in a towel. He's inconsolable. He and his team were so good at their sport that they reached the finals and were notably one of the two best teams. Yet their hearts are broken. Should we teach ourselves to consider a loss in a different light, less painful, less distasteful, and a great learning and self-improvement tool? Maybe.

Let's get this straight. It's okay to be sorry if you lost. It's okay to be very sorry if you came in last. But, it is a very prideful thing to think that you should always be the winner. It is selfish, indeed, to not be happy for the winner when it's not you. I should be disappointed, and I know I could have done better, perhaps, but graciousness in losing is rare, and frankly, admirable.

I really like what Michael Jordan has said about losing. He has worked hard, and is arguably the best basketball player ever to play the game, and he regards the times that he failed to be some of his best teachers. Learning to win is easy, though we should be gracious in that, as the well. But, when we learn to lose with honor and thankfulness at what we have experienced, I believe the possibilities are endless in what we can accomplish in future. This applies to our jobs, school, relationships, and endless more places in our lives.

I have applied this thinking to my walk with Jesus Christ. He has forgiven me, saved me from eternal separation from God, and still I fall down. I know how to walk in Christ, but sometimes I make wrong choices, and sometimes, like a little child, I disobey. I could give up and quit because I failed Him, but I look at what and why my failure happened, I note what I can change, and I move on. 

Learning from the mistakes that make us losers make us just like Michael Jordan; it makes us winners. Celebrate your mistakes, they're part of the solution. Celebrate second place, it makes you one of the best. Teach your children how to lose.

******It should be noted here that, as much as I admire the accomplishments of Michael Jordan, I am of the opinion that Larry Bird is by far the very best pro-basketball player......ever. Just saying.

God Is Real

Some say there is no God, Jesus is not God, there is no Holy Spirit to guide and comfort us. If they're right, I wish they would explain what happened to me after I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior 30 years ago. My life changed instantly. I was no longer the mean-spirited person I had been for years. I no longer wanted everything for ME. I wanted to please God, and I became thankful for what Christ has done for me. 

Consequently, my attitudes changed, my focus changed. My life at first took a turn for the worse because satan was fighting for me. But I stayed faithful, and so did God. My life today is happy, joyful, contented, peaceful. I have a loving and devoted husband who has changed his life as well. 

I'm not perfect by a long shot. But I will be when He gets done with me and takes me home. If there is no God, what has happened, and what have I lost in this lifetime? I've lost bitterness and a life of sin and guilt and anger and a filthy personal reputation. I've benefited in my decision, even if there is no God. But I know there is a God because of my life. He has worked miracles that would have been impossible by my own doing. 

I know Who He is, and I know who I am IN HIM. My life and my faith are the answers to those who scoff at my faith in God the Creator of everything. If you believe, you have the same story to tell. God IS real!

The Wrong Man Resigned

Today's headline: "Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel Is Resigning "

If you don't totally agree with this POTUS, if you embarrass him in any small way, you might as well pack your bags. He won't tolerate even the smallest acts of insubordination. 

On the other hand, he shouldn't tolerate it, Even if he is inept and has no idea what he is doing, he must command total support of his ineptness. 

It's been obvious from the very beginning that Chuck Hagel was not up to the task of Secretary of Defense, and for that reason he was nominated, and because he would be easy to control by his boss. That's the one fact that he didn't live up to. Hagel actually disagreed with this administration and its handling of ISIS, and that's what got him the boot. Even if you are correct and wanting to protect your country from evil danger, you just must never embarrass and disagree with this president. 

Unfit for the job as Chuck Hagel is, the wrong man has resigned. Again.

My Christmas Gift

Oh bother. Christmas is taking over the masses and markets already, and my blood pressure rises. I love what Christmas represents, so I will acknowledge it in that way. But as for the presents, I have an idea that I'll share, though I know it's not for everyone. I still think it's a good idea. 

How about not buying the popular junk that will be hawked constantly for the next two months on all the television and radio stations. I like the idea of making something very special and personal as a gift. You may think you can't make anything, but there are hundreds of ideas that are wonderful gifts that even a beginner can make. Google can help. Research all over the web for crafty or food ideas. Ask your friends for their ideas. 

My favorite idea this year is for considering the economy and giving the adult families gift certificates to their favorite grocery or their favorite clothing store, department store, and a really good idea, their favorite gas station. Make your gifts practical and helpful, not something they'll use once and then store in some closet or the basement. 

You probably can't do this for the kids, but I really think we can be more practical for them as well. Consider that less is really better. I used to go way overboard with all the family. I was impractical and so wrong. I have always hated gift certificates, but now I believe it is the very best gift because there could be less waste. 

I also have scratched a lot of people off my gift list. Spending money on everybody I come in contact with is wasteful, and it only encourages them to waste their money buying me a small gift....that I'll never use. Give me a jar of homemade preserves instead. Now that's a nice gift! 

If you need ideas go to pinterest where you'll find hundreds of ideas. Last year I made homemade soaps and lotions for my family and put them in cheap mason jars with ribbons. These were wonderful gifts and very appreciated. Christmas can be so much more meaningful and happy if we fill it with personalized joy and not run our credit cards up so high it could take us until next Christmas to pay off. I want a more peaceful and Christ-centered holiday this year. I want to sing Happy Birthday to Jesus, read the Christmas story from Luke to the kids, and be able to breathe easy in January when the white sales start.

That will be my Christmas gift this year that I will cherish the most. God bless us, every one.

I'm Learning As I Go Crazy

Frustration is a very good emotional tool that the enemy tries to use to make me crazy and then sin. But it won't work. (hehe.) I have God's word to tap into. You know the one I use....2 Cor 10:4.....and then I can get through it. Good thing, because I almost lost it with a couple of customer service reps in India this morning.

Why is it that companies use people that they know I can't understand? sheesh. They are so kind and sweet and professional. They are SUPER polite, and I'm sure they would be helpful if I could just understand them!

Finally i got put through to JoAnn in North Carolina that had the thickest NC accent you've ever heard. I understood every word she said. But she couldn't help me. Finally i got Mary. Mary must be an angel that God sent down to help me because it was one of the most pleasant, easy, efficient, and quick conversations I've ever had with a customer service agent. Thank You, Father. I really appreciate it.

By the way.... I go through this every month with this company. Well, at least for the last four or five months. So, God is definitely out to train me to KEEP CALM and RECITE 2 COR 10:4. I'm learning. But as usual, the hard way.