A Strong Woman

Back in the '70s  when Ron took me home to meet the fam, they met a strong-minded woman who believed women could and should take over the world. I was not exactly what momma and daddy had in mind for their sweet little boy, and it was apparent I was not going to fit in well with them. Nor did I want to. I believe his family and friends gave us two chances for a lasting marriage.....slim and none. Yet, of the 4 sons, Ron's and my marriage is the only one that lasted over the years. 

God, and only God the Father made that happen. He changed my heart about how He wanted me to be as a woman. The strong, in charge woman was out, and I fought it tooth and nail, don't think I didn't. 

Did you know that in the bible God gives the man instructions that he should love his wife, just as Christ loved the church? But the wife is only instructed to respect her husband. How does a woman respect her man if she is giving the orders? It's just not possible. 

It's still not easy for me, but Ron definitely has the last word here. I submit to him. And the only way for me to please the Father is to respect my man.

It's Just a Game!

Since moving to Georgia I have become a bit of a Falcons fan, though the Kansas City Chiefs will always be number one in this midwesterner's heart. I've enjoyed the quality of offensive talent for Atlanta, and trying to take my love for football to the local area, I regularly watch them play.

At our church, we have two friends that work for the Falcons franchise, and I've been careful this year since they were knocked out of the playoffs not to say anything about the end to their season. That is, until today. I am afraid that I owe my dear friend, K___ an apology for a lapse in my mental process. K___ came up to give me one of the huge hugs that he gives from his 12' (almost) frame, and as he walked away, without thinking, I said innocently, Go Chiefs! 

I think his chin scraped the floor as he sauntered away. And, just like the Falcons, I had no defense.
                                                   

Don't Quit

A few weeks ago a friend and I were discussing, or should I say lamenting, how our advanced age and physical shortcomings have taken its toll, and that we no longer have the physical abilities and strength to serve in the church as we have in the past. She and I both like working with kids and helping with activities. It's easy to pull away and do nothing, perhaps wallowing in your resentment or afraid to try anything. The conversation went something like this:

My friend: Yes, well at our age it's more difficult to do all these things. I do what I can and leave the rest to the younger ones.
Me: There are still things that you and I can do. We can always pray and be diligent to let others know we care. We can encourage them, the young and the older, with words of love and support. If we listen carefully, God will still give us work to do.

She agreed, and we prayed about that very thing right there.

Later, when the pastor had finished his message, everyone began to file out, and I stayed seated, waiting for the clear path. I felt an arm around my shoulders and looked around to see our pastor's wife. I  make handmade greeting cards, and she asked me to make some blank note cards for some middle east women she would be speaking to soon. I was thrilled. God was answering our prayer so quickly!

I went home and looked up the country of these women. I read of its history, its religions, its people. Then I looked at the images of the women that lived there, and I set their faces in my mind. And as I made each card, four to a pack for twenty women, making eighty beautiful blank cards, I prayed for these women, crying and seeing their faces in my mind, learning to love these beautiful people that I would never meet or know. While making small gifts for others, God had given me an enormous and wondrous gift, a love for mankind that live far from me, physically and culturally. But we share a love for the Father that has brought us together in love.

So, today I am celebrating, well, just acknowledging, my seventy-first birthday. Many are still very active and healthy at this age, running marathons, walking briskly through life, able to participate in so many outdoor activities with their grandchildren. I'm not one of them. I walk with a cane most of the time after having two knee replacements, one not turning out so well.  I've had some bad experiences with some surgeries and mistakes by doctors. But I'm exercising and doing as much as I can to stay active. I am not complaining. I see many each day that are far worse off than I am. I've had a good and active life, and so I am winding down a bit slower than some.

No matter where you are in life, you still have much to offer. The greatest thrill for me is to be able to help others with love, encouragement, wisdom, and as long as I can drive, I can help my friend get to the doctors. But, I will always remember to keep pushing and keep listening to my Lord for guidance. It would be great if I could give you that famous quote, "Don't quit." from Winston Churchill. But, in reality, Churchill never said that. He never made that speech that history has tried to attribute to him. But, he did say some very eloquent lines with which I will leave you.

If you're going through hell, keep going.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

Never, never, never give up.

Can We Be Civil and Kind?

I witnessed two people having a conversation about a large facility being converted to a hospital for drug addicted people. They were vehemently against this move. They felt, very strongly, that the building should be used for "better" purposes, i.e. a place for homeless veterans. Their opinion of those addicted to drugs was that they had brought their situation on themselves. No one forced them to use drugs, they were the "scum of the earth", and they deserved to rot on the streets. The opinion of these two was that drug addiction was not a disease, it was a choice, and the taxpayer should not have to foot the bill for their care.I was incredulous at their attitudes, but even more shocked that they thought, no, they were positive, that addictions were not diseases. I showed them articles of proof to the contrary, but their response was to call me names. Saddened by this whole conversation, I set down a story that portrayed my thoughts. I have no knowledge that they have read it, but I hope someone will read it and learn from it.......................................There once was a young man who thought he was invincible. He sat on the wall of a deep well and looked down into it. No problem, he said. I won't fall off, so I am safe. The next thing he knew he slipped and fell in. He struggled and tried over and over to climb out, but he just couldn't make it on his own. He cried out for help, but no one helped him because they said he shouldn't have sat on the wall in the first place. He was lonely, miserable and sick, but no one would help. He was left to die because the people were too hard-hearted and full of hate to help him. What a disgusting and disturbing story, that people are so unkind that they won't help those in need, but think they know all the answers, when in fact, they've never been down in the well!

Ma

Hate is one of the worst diseases of mankind. We certainly don't have to look very far to find it. We laugh at those we consider less intelligent or overweight. We make fun of people who make a mistake in speaking or perhaps fall. We think it's funny if someone is hit in the face with an object. We pretend we're better than others because we have made a few good choices, or we're prettier, healthier, not blond. Evil is alive and rampant, and we call ourselves civilized. We're pathetic! Alcoholism, drug addiction, over-eating, self-mutilation, mental illness, are all diseases and need help to overcome. Nothing is fair in this world, but we could at least be civil and kind.

Who Do You Trust?

There are many people in this world that are followers of Christ but find it very difficult to share their burdens and their problems with their Christian brothers and sisters. These people are either very private or they have had the misfortune of being betrayed by someone they have trusted with their heartaches. These are usually the ones who ask for "unspoken" prayer requests. What a shame that we can't trust those in the family of God!

Other Christians not only share every heartache they have or have ever had, 

but they tell everyone they come in contact with. They seem to have no 

problem with everyone knowing their problems, but one would think they 

would become weary at some point. We must understand that some just 

have this need to talk through things.

Then we come to the third Christian. This one is selective about who they talk

to about their burdens, and tells only the ones that are believed to be trusted

to pray about it, which is the main reason to share. This is where yours truly 

fits in. 

I once was a long time member of a ladies' weekly bible study group. I was a 

new Christian, and also the youngest in the group. The rest of the ladies 

were older, wiser, and some had faced some of the problems that I was facing

at the time. I relied greatly on their insight and spiritual wisdom. There was

an average of about fifteen women involved in the group, so it was clear to 

me that I was taking a bit of a chance by telling these very personal problems.

One day I was passing the pastor in a hallway and we stopped for a short 

visit. At some point, I said something about asking for prayer in the group

about something. Pastor hesitated a moment, then said, "Shirley, I think you 

tell too much."

"Why do you think that?" I asked him.

"Well, you can't always be sure things stay within the group. And 

then sometimes they might discuss between themselves what you have

told them." You could tell he was trying to be as careful as possible not

 to accuse anyone, but just to caution me.

"I'm very aware that that could happen," I confessed, "and I've given it a lot

of thought. If anyone in the group feels the need to talk about me or 

my problems, and if they want to talk about me when they are together, I have 

no problem with that. Actually, it's not for me to deal with. What they do or say

is God's problem, not mine. I need prayer. My family needs prayer. So, I am 

going to share my problems where I should be able to share them, in my 

church family. I hope they pray for us. I think I know the ones who will, and 

the ones who won't. But, I trust God to remind them, and I know the faithful 

ones will pray."

"Well, I thought I should mention it."

And, of course, he should have. But, I will always be saddened by the fact that 

he needed to do it. It's very important that those of us who are believers 

remind ourselves that none of us has arrived yet. We are all still striving to 

attain that goal, but we won't be there until the day He takes us home. 

So, let's cut each other some slack, and then focus our minds on being

as Christlike as we can be. Taking care of me is quite enough work.

If you wish to keep your problems to yourself, then you should do so. 

But hopefully, you will find someone to whom you can share and ask to pray 

with you. If you choose to tell many, or all you know, again, fine. But, maybe 

just a little discernment would be enough relief. The question we should 

address is Am I Trustworthy? not Who Can I Trust? When we sweep our 

own front step, as my mother always use to say, then it's the first step in 

getting the whole world clean. If I'm taking care of me, and you're taking care

of you, that's when we are better prepared to pray for each other and share

our strength in support.

(As always, there are always exceptions and "what ifs" to deal with. Who you 

trust must be your decision.)

KINDRED SPIRITS

There have been few kindred spirits in my lifetime. I imagine it's that way with most people, but I've always noted mine to be few and far between. Not surprisingly, these are the people I admire most, with an exception here and there. My hope is that one or two of these kindred spirits would be available, and willing, to speak some sound words at a memorial service for me, if there should be one. It's not that I deserve sound words, it's just my desire.

If you're wondering what on earth I mean by "sound words", then you may not be the kindred spirit I thought you were. I believe you will know immediately from where I am coming. (I just love correct grammar.) And I am trusting completely in what you will say. My reference is this:

13Retain the standard of sound words which you have heard from me, in the faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. 14Guard, through the Holy Spirit who dwells in us, the treasure which has been entrusted to you. 2Timothy 1 NASB

Jesus knows I have had such a struggle throughout my life with sound words. However, when it comes to scripture, I am praying that I won't be found errant nor lacking. God's holy words have been the most important teacher of my life, but I have been fortunate to have had other great teachers.

One of the first teachers I had was Galen Skinner who led me in the sinner's prayer, and for the next fourteen years taught me from the pulpit. I love this man of God who made me cry Sunday after Sunday for years as the Father spoke to my heart and weeded out so much. I wasn't much of a challenge for God, but I sure was for Galen.

I am told that not many believers have had the kind of mentors that I had all those years at Lincoln First Church. There was a room full of Christian women in a bible study class that taught me, supported me, prayed for me, and put up with me for fifteen years. They all had some responsibility for my spiritual growth, some good, some not so good, but two stand out as my stalwarts. They are Carol Rap and Lois Slaight; mighty warriors and prayer warriors. 

If I am still here in Georgia when I die, I am wishing for two speakers whom I reckon to be kindred spirits. One might be offended by that, but I've offended him before and he forgave me. I expect the same result now. If I were here at this moment, there would be good banter, lots of laughter, and at the drop of a pin all three of us could stop and approach the Father in adoration and honor, without a blink of the eye. This is what I mean by kindred spirits. Having fun, but knowing your priorities. I really don't know how else to explain it. I had this with one other person, Chris Abke, who has moved on and is no longer in my life, but still in my heart.

Tim Baker actually understands how I think, most of the time, which is quite frightening. I have found few who do. If I had to name another, I'm not sure I could. I'm not fond of small talk, I'm not good at it, and I don't like to get involved in things I'm not good at. It's so depressing to fail at something. But, if you want to talk about God's word or your spiritual walk, I come alive. Tim is very, very serious about scripture, and we have had good talks about it.

And then there's Karl (are you serious?) Alspach. I've always wondered if somewhere on a bathroom wall or restaurant table someone has written, "For a good time call Karl" and maybe some telephone number. Don't take that wrong! It's just that Karl has a wonderful, albeit weird, sense of humor. He's a hoot! I envy all the men that he is friends with because they get to enjoy him more often that I.  But, that wonderful humor is swiftly swept aside to honor his Savior and Lord. I adore Karl. I didn't really know God's word until I came to The Crossing. Karl has no qualms about hurting feelings or stepping on toes when it comes to delivering God's messages. This kind of teaching is a gift from the Father that many people don't appreciate and won't tolerate. 

Being a woman of many words on paper, I could go on and on. But my life is done, He's wanting me to be at home now, and quite frankly I'm more than ready, and it's someone else's turn to blow hot air at you. But keep it short, fellas. And for heaven's sake, please don't let it be said that I was a "good person". I was not. Jesus is good. Only God is good. 

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at the memorial...

I like when people say things about how they have been touch by my life.

everyone singing, please, no solos.
Michael Alspach and band. no lead singer.

at the beginning:
BLESS THE LORD, O MY SOUL (10,000 REASONS)
THE LOVE OF GOD IS GREATER FAR

at the very end: clapping to the music is a good thing!
DAYS OF ELIJAH

Everlasting Misery!

There is a judgment to come, in which every man shall be sentenced to a state of everlasting happiness, or misery.  Matthew Henry re: Matthew 25: 31-33.

The consequences of "everlasting misery" are, I believe, the most misunderstood fact of Christianity in non-believers. If they would understand the depth of that misery, I sometimes think it could make them realize what's at risk for them. And, that misery is ETERNAL! FOREVER! NEVER STOPS!

Imagine having nothing, ever, to drink. Imagine not finding any food to eat, no grass even. Think of 100-pound hailstones coming at you, beating on you, and still time goes on. You will be totally, forever, separated from a loving God and all of your loving family. There will be no one to ease your misery.

But God is in control of that, as well. He hardens hearts to the truth as easily as He cultivates and draws them to His Son. Our job, as Christians, is to pray, love, encourage, befriend, and pile on more love. Leave judging to the Father, and love one another, even the unlovable.