Wednesday, February 10, 2016


It's not an excuse; it's simply a fact of my life. I grew up as an only child, one who had almost everything her own way. There was no one in my home that I had to share with; I learned to share at my friends' houses and at school. I had no one telling me what to do or how to do it except my parents, and they were teaching rather than infringing on my play world. My nature is to be somewhat compliant, to get along. But, my childhood years taught me that there was a line that I could put in place that no one should cross. That line was where my compliant nature ceased to yield, and my 'only child' nature demanded its way.

I have struggled with this 'only child' nature all my life. I am almost 70 years old, and it is still the cause of the most unattractive behavior. It effects attitude, thought process, choices, and lifestyle. I have been considered to be a very congenial, loving and considerate, co-operative being. But, let someone cross that boundary line that I have unconsciously established for my life, and I can become stubborn, difficult, demanding, head-strong, and just simply one of your worst nightmares. That little girl in Shirley's world learned that there are some things that must go my way or I will become the Wicked Witch of the West. It's a knee jerk reaction that I neither contemplate nor scheme. I don't realize it is happening until it is nearly at its end. And, by then, I have alienated almost everyone around me, and, worst of all I have disappointed my heavenly Father. My thoughts and my behavior have been full of sin.

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;
From where shall my help come?
 My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.
Psalm 121: 1-2

Each of us has that ugly place in our lives that causes us to act contrary to what we know is right. When I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord, those ugly places began to be revealed to me in a systematic process to clean them out and make me fit for my eternal home with Him. I'm not there yet, but I keep listening to His leading and learning to lean on His teachings. I cannot do anything alone that would prepare me for His presence. But, if I am growing closer to Him with every breath I take, I will become more like Him.

The ugly sin in my life can be dealt with, and even eradicated, but not without Him. Anything I try to do alone will fail. I've proven that over and over. But, when I call on my Jesus for help, I can be assured that I will succeed. Nothing is too difficult for Him.

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