Wednesday, December 14, 2011

God, Talking To Himselves


One day God was sitting back, looking over mankind as He always does, and He decided that today was going to be the day. He'd been planning this for a long, long time, and He had everything in place that He needed. So God, in His infinite wisdom, called together His committee, His Son, and His sweet Holy Spirit and looked at Them lovingly.

"I'm ready to get started." God told Them. "I know You are excited to finally do this, so I'm going to lay it all out for You. Take notes if You need to."

God's Son and The Holy Spirit looked at each other and rolled Their eyes. Since when did They ever need notes to remember everything? God knew this, and He knew that They had rolled Their eyes, though He hadn't been looking up. God chuckled to Himself knowingly, and the others chuckled with Him. "We have such fun together," They all thought to Themselves.

So, God continued talking to Himselves, "You know I have had my eye on that little girl in Nazareth that we created a few years ago, and we were right, she's perfect for this mission. She's old enough now to conceive a child, and she just recently was chosen by that guy Joseph that we talked about. I like him. He's a good Jewish boy, a little older than she is, but still, I like him."

"Yes, yes," interrupted The Holy Spirit,"but I still don't understand why in God's name, oops, sorry Sir, we put her in Nazareth. It's suppose to be Bethlehem!" His eyes opened wide, "Hello!!"

"I know, I know," answered God. "Calm Yourself. I've got this all worked out. You worry way too much, You know. You need to trust me on this."

"Yeah, well I trust You, I just don't understand why sometimes You just do things the hard way, kind of screwy. No offense, Sir."

"No offense taken. It's those foolish humans that make Me do things the hard way. If they'd just listen and do what I tell them. They trust Me even less than You do." God shook His majestic head in dismay. "Now, I've got everything covered here, so listen up. Son! Are You listening?"

"To every syllable, My Father." 

And God smiled.

"Okay. That Augustus guy in Rome has decided he's a big shot, and he wants to know how many people he can count that he can make cow-tow to him. What a jerk! So he's ordered that they take a census, and everyone will have to go to the city of their forefathers to be counted. Get it? City of their forefathers?"

The Holy Spirit sat straight up in His chair. "Oh, sure! I get it now! Bethlehem! That's the city where Benjamin and David came from. Whoa!  This is just way cool!"

God is thinking how bright that Holy Spirit is.

 "But, wait a minute."

"Oh, no." thought God. The Holy Spirit was thinking again. 

"Okay. From Nazareth to Bethlehem. Isn't that like eighty miles or more? Won't that girl have to go eighty miles while she's pregnant, I mean VERY pregnant? Like, H-U-G-E pregnant! God, are You sure You've thought all this through?"

"Sometimes You are so exasperating. Didn't I say, 'Trust Me?'  I'll see to it that she and the baby and Joseph get there safe and sound. What's the problem? Eighty miles of good road with a few of their friends tagging along for company, and I'll make sure they've got the best donkey on the market, brand new, never been ridden. It's gonna be a cakewalk! Yes, she'll be a little uncomfortable, but I'll take care of her. You've just gotta trust me on this."

God's Son glanced at The Holy Spirit with disdain then turned back to His Father. "Abba, this sounds perfect. I know how diligently You have planned this, and I know, without a doubt, it's going to be fantastic. I'm ready to go anytime. Just give the word."

God thought He heard kissing sounds coming from The Holy Spirit, but He decided to let it go. "Kids." He muttered and moved on.

"It's going to be very important for the girl's sanity that we get her out of Nazareth to spare her of all those sharp tongues wagging about her. Sheesh. I've got quite a few stories about them I could repeat, but I won't......yet. Their day will come if they don't change their ways. Well, that's why I'm sending You there, Son. Okay! Let's get the lead out! Holy Spirit, You've got that star ready to go? And We've got to get those guys from the east moving, too. I'm counting on You!"

"You can count on me, Sir! I've got everything on my list ready." The Holy Spirit said this with pride, then realized He had revealed something that maybe He would have liked to have kept to Himself.

"Well, You know, Sir, sometimes I do have to write things down, You know, just in case."

They all smiled and quickly dispersed to accomplish the great task.

"We are such a cool team," God thought. "Lombardi ain't got nothing on Us."

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