Not long ago I expressed my appreciation to a friend of the dedication and love that person applies to his ministry and to his friends and family. I also mentioned in the conversation that I appreciate the way he prays. Ashamedly I admit what I said was, "I'd give anything to pray like you do." What I meant by that is I admire the attitude with which he prays and his creative ways of blessing and thanking the Lord for so many different areas of our lives. The vastness of his ways of approaching the Father, and the love and devotion contained in his words, humble though they are, instills in me a desire to be as pleasing to God with my words as my friend must be with his.
The fact is, I have been given a different gift, a gift of writing. I delight in the gift because I know He gave it to me. I began writing when I was a very young girl when my imagination was forming, and I lived in a dream world. Today I still live in that dream world, and I have an endless imagination, but, longingly I would prefer to write about my Savior and what He has done, and is doing, in me. There's nothing that I can imagine in my mind that is more exciting than that reality. All I need is a thought, a suggestion or some small inspiration and the words just flow onto my keyboard. I don't have to think much about it, plan it, outline it, or do much rewriting. This is my Father's gift to me.
The other fact is, as easily as writing comes for me, when I stand to speak, or if I'm called on to pray aloud, the thoughts detour and falter, and the words become muddled and repetitive and limited to phrases and cliches that I have heard most of my life in "religious" community. These are methods of which I have always had distaste. It would seem that when speaking my tongue goes faster than my brain; or could it be the opposite? My thoughts go in ten different directions, and when my mouth opens it can't remember what it really wanted to say. What frustration!
If I am so concerned about what or how I am talking to God, He will be little pleased. The Holy Spirit urges me to pray with abandon, with no thought for anyone, anything, or for myself; only for Him. Only for Him!
I can, and should show appreciation for my friends and their gifts. But my gift is different, and so I will bless Him for it!
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